Inscriptions: A Guide for the Ideological Maxi
bitcoin · ordinals · shitpost

If you ask me my views, they will be nearly indistinguishable from those of, for lack of a better term, ideological Bitcoin maximalists. I loathe the state, have no particular respect for authority, and believe that Bitcoin is the path away from the debauched debasement of our lives and civilization that fiat currency has wrought.

However, I do not consider myself an ideological Bitcoin maximalist, with the primary reason being that ideology often does not survive contact with reality.

This is the unenviable position that ideological Bitcoin maximalism, and the insipid culture accompanying it, finds itself in at the present moment: an uncomfortable contact with a reality with which it does not comport.

Ideological Bitcoin maximalism has a lot of good things going for it. It is because of those things that this blog post was written. This post contains advice for ideological Bitcoin maximalists, advice which will hopefully help them stop scoring own goals and committing unforced errors. In other words, how they can stop being losers.

Let me start by saying that this post is not written to defend ordinals and inscriptions. They do not need defending. The cat is out the bag, and nobody can put it back in.

Now, for the advice.

My first piece of advice is that whining about inscriptions makes you, and Bitcoin, look weak. Simultaneously believing that Bitcoin is unstoppable internet money and thinking that a bunch of retards publishing JPEGs on-chain is any kind of problem is a contradiction. We both know the truth that, push come to shove, the former is true and the latter is false. Bitcoin is unstoppable internet money, and the JPEGs are a non-issue. But, by espousing both beliefs, you weaken any argument you might make that Bitcoin can resist the state.

For all the whining on Twitter, nobody has been able to make so much as a dent in ordinals and inscriptions. So, given that, and given that we have important work to do in destroying fiat, maybe you should stop whining about something you can't change, and adjust to the new, and possibly uncomfortable reality that NFTs have come to Bitcoin? This will no doubt not be the last time that people start doing unpleasant things on Bitcoin, so it would be a good exercise to start accepting it now. You can then refocus your efforts on more important things, like spreading Satoshi's good word and helping as many people as possible learn how to use Bitcoin.

Also, strategically, all press is good press, and complaining about inscriptions just makes more people learn about them, and makes the inscribers extra keen to nakadashi JPEGs into the blockchain, just to make you look like idiots. If normies like doing something, then you're not going to make any friends, or make any headway on anything, by scolding them for doing it.

If you still insist on complaining about inscriptions, at least take a moment to learn about them, so you can ditch your worst and least compelling arguments. These include:

Attempting to censor inscriptions is exactly identical to attempting censoring other kinds of transactions. Any machinery you build or public support you muster will immediately lend support to censorship on Bitcoin in general. Fortunately, processing transactions that someone views as illegitimate is exactly the thing Bitcoin was built for, so you will ultimately fail, but we would all be better of if you didn't try to convince people that censoring Bitcoin transactions was something they should bother trying. You've already managed to confuse Ocean Mining into thinking that it's possible and a good idea, and although they'll eventually bend the knee even further than they already have, it would be nice if we just got another mining pool, instead of having it needlessly gimped right out of the gate.

So, what should you do about inscriptions?

Just ignore them. More valuable use-cases will price out the majority of inscriptions. There will always be some high-value inscriptions, but they don't compete seriously with hard money and uncensorable transactions. Bitcoin's destiny is high fees. Embrace it.

We have much bigger fish to fry, and if you're interested in doing more than just pearl clutching and engagement farming, we can all get to frying them.


Wanko Manko
fiction · shitpost

Thought of a hilarious idea for a manga and eventually anime when it inevitably gets super popular.

It takes place in Japan, but only because that seems like the only appropriate setting for an anime.

The story is about a twenty-something bachelor. He wants a dog, so he adopts a beautiful female malamute from a shelter.

However! When he gets home, he realizes that the dog has the most beautiful human-looking vagina he has ever seen. Like, all-time-top-voted-post-on-r/godpussy tier. Of course, since it's an anime, you only ever see it pixelated.

Then, basically the entire show revolves around him trying to resist the temptation to fuck his dog, and situations that make it hard to resist temptation. His catchphrase is "Inu ni makemasen!" / "I won't lose to the dog!"

Like, for example, in one episode he leaves out a jar of strawberry jam, and the dog gets into it, and then when the dog is done eating the jam, it pulls its snout out of the jar, and there's strawberry jam on its mouth in the exact shape of sexy lipstick. This of course sends him into a fit of desire, and he has to like, I dunno, take a cold bath, or watch sumo wrestling or something to resist.

In the final episode, he's taking the dog for a walk in a dog park, and he sees another dog running around, and notices that it has a huge, beautiful human penis. (Pixelated, natch.) He then look over and sees its owner, who's a beautiful woman his age. They lock eyes and instantly fall in love.

I can't decide if it's a happy ending, where he gets this great girl and the two dogs with beautiful junk get each other. Or if it's a darker ending, where he has sex with the woman for the first time and her pussy is absolutely ruined, and he realizes that she hasn't resisted temptation and has been getting railed on the reg by her dog and its huge human cock. Or afterwards he asks her how it was, and she says "It was okay…" in a super wistful voice, and then looks over at her dog, while the color drains from his face as he realizes the truth.

I'm not sure whether it should be called Wanko Manko, which means "Dog Pussy" in Japanese but rhymes, or Venus in Fur, as a play on Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.


fuck-around-and-find-out


GIMME THAT BIG BISCUIT SHREDDED WHEAT BOM BOM BOM THAT BIG BISCUIT SHREDDED WHEAT big-biscuit



Ideal Male Body
shitpost

ideal-male-body


no-there-there


yubikey-translation


Punished Jones
shitpost

punished-jones


monkey-dong